Yoga/Laughter Yoga with exercises, jokes and spiritual stories
Laughing is healthy. Laughing makes you happy. Be happy. Become a Buddha. Enlightenment is happiness without a reason. You do not need a specific reason to be happy. Laugh Yoga is a good way to get happiness energy flowing. There are various methods to do laugh Yoga. You can watch funny videos. You can also read jokes on the internet until you laugh. Or you can just laugh without a reason. That's the main form of laugh Yoga. You reach the energy of humor, and at some point the laughter is in you.
Laugh Yoga for Absolute BeginnersEdit
1. We lie on the back and relax. What is the joke of your life today? Because God has a sense of humor, he gives every person at least one joke per day. You just have to recognize it. If you can't think of a joke, then laugh without reason. Laugh as you feel. You can say the mantra “ ha ha ha” or “ho, ho, ho” or “hee hee hee”. Every mantra is different and comes from a different part of the body. If you are feeling angry or sad, then you can also cry during laugh Yoga. In that case, the mantra “hoo hoo hoo” is appropriate. If you are angry, think “rage, rage, rage”. If you are angry with your ex-boyfriend, then you can yell “stupid man!” If you already feel like laughing, then you are ready for laugh Yoga.
2. We lift the right leg that is stretched out and hold it in the air and then laugh. Then we lift the left leg and laugh. Which mantra is helpful for you?
3. We lift both of the legs and the head. We hold the position and laugh as long as possible.
4. We do a shoulder stand, lift the btt and stretch the legs out to the sky. The hands support the back. We move our feet slightly and laugh. It is good to laugh at the sky.
5. We lay down again and turn the spine several times. We move the pelvis to the right and the head to the left, and then the reverse. We move the spine as far as possible. We laugh to the left and to the right side. We laugh at all beings on the left and the right side.
6. We lay on the stomach and lift the right leg. We hold it and then laugh. Then we lift up the left leg, hold it in the air and then laugh.
7. The head is tipped back and we bring the feet as far as possible toward the back of the head. The upper thighs are in the air and the hands support the position next to the body. More advanced Yogis do the Cobra pose as shown in the photo. We laugh at the same time because it is great. We hold the Cobra pose, laugh and move the feet.
8. We lay our head on our hands, move our feet and laugh at the earth.
9. We sit Indian style, on the ankles or on a chair. The back is straight. The hands lay on the belly. We laugh from the belly for a moment. Now is a good time to find something funny. In an emergency, you can laugh about me. That always works. Then we move our hand into a blessing, send the laughter to the entire world and think: “ may all beings be happy. May there be a happy world.”
10. We lay down in a comfortable position. Then we tense the muscles of the legs and the feet. Then we relax. Then we tense up the muscles of the arms and the hands. Then we relax. We tense up the muscles of the head and face. Then we relax. We tense up the muscles of the entire body. We relax. We move the feet. We think the mantra “om” three times.
Woman: I am very focused on appearances and put a lot of effort into how I look. I always pay attention to my figure and work out a lot. I have a treadmill in my apartment so that I can also sweat in the winter. Before I go to work, I sit in front of the mirror and style my hair and put on makeup. I have to always look presentable.
Laughyogi: Calling myself ugly and old is of course just a joke. I like women who take care of their figure and their appearance. It’s wonderful that you have the self-discipline to use a treadmill. Applying makeup for two hours is extreme from the perspective of a man. But for women, it’s not unusual. An ex-girlfriend of mine was the same way. Do you still think a lot about your appearance or have you gone beyond it? My musician friend was here again because he is addicted to my good coffee. I will need to go shopping again soon. The musician ate the last marzipan roll. I had planned on him just eating the cookies from the cookie bowl. But he is unpredictable and just does what he feels like. Now he is on his way back to Berlin and will come back in three months. Until that time, I can eat up my sweets alone.
Woman: You always make me laugh. For that reason, I think you are godly and enlightened. Thank you for your calming and reassuring words. Now my ego is satisfied again and feels attended to. Yes, we can say that you are worse off than I am so that I feel OK. But it would also be enough for me if you thought I was amazing and printed out my picture and hung it up over your altar. Now... regarding my favorite topics: the figure and appearance. At the moment, I am not that hung up on it, my skin needs a break. I walk around in an old dress and never wear a bra when I am at home in my apartment. My neighbor thinks that one would waste away without going to work. I love being lazy! However, I do shower and brush the teeth daily because that contributes to overall well-being. For shopping and cycling, I don’t get dressed up, I just wear an anorak and jeans and boots. At night I sleep without clothes and leave the window open until it’s freezing.
Laugh yogi: In order for me to be able to print out your picture and hang it up above my altar, you have to first send me one. I live the lazy look, especially women who go around without a bra. My unenlightened erotic fantasies are threatening to overwhelm me. It would be better if you told me about cosmetics, solarium and so forth. That way I come back to earth with the reality that I am an ugly, old Yogi and don’t have a chance with such a beautiful woman. Tell me about your girlfriends. Do they look good? Are they single? Are they looking for a good-looking, intelligent, rich and humorous man with a villa in a well-manicured nature park? A man who honors them, worships them and goes everywhere with them? Someone who wants to make them happy forever? Someone who can listen to them? And otherwise very low-maintenance? He only needs a kiss in the morning and two cookies to eat. If they have had enough of him, they can just put him in the closet and he'll meditate there until he is fetched again.
Woman: In terms of appearance, I imagined you are in your mid 40s because you are so fresh and young and pure and happy and don’t have any wrinkles. The white hair in the beard do not mean much, because younger men also have them sometimes. Also, because you are slim, you also come across as youthful. Your overall radiance contributes to that. It is clear that something new is developing within you, and that is surely due to your spiritual development. The joy that you always have radiating from you, your eyes are so clear and laugh along with you. I’ve read a lot of your free books and have downloaded a lot of them from Amazon. I find it fascinating to read about your life. You write so well. Your words warm the heart and are so personal. It really speaks to me. Thank you also for conveying your inner processes and how you deal with them. That is really helpful for me.
Laugh yogi: Thank you for seeing me in such a positive light. I can really use that today. All of last night, fears from my childhood arose. I felt so small, weak and pathetic. As I read your messages, I knew that I am in fact a hero. Young, fresh, radiance… at the age of 62 to be like 40. Wonderful. A God. That goes well with a Goddess like you. Of course I write well and heart-warmingly. For that reason, slowly I am starting to become one of the famous German philosophers and writers. At least here in this forest.
Birthday greetings from the goddess
Goddess: A few years ago today, an egg lay in Hamburg which moved back and forth because something was going on inside it. On the shell, the godly letters were written: “Nils, best-selling author and enlightened Yogi master.” Precisely on the letter “i” in the word “Yogi” something broke through the egg and the little chick thought: “finally light and air!” After a little while, it was at the point where it cracked open and the Nils chick had reached the moment of truth: it tumbled out of the egg shell and hatched out into the world. All of the chickens and roosters came to look at the yellow thing and greet the new fluffy chick that had just come into the world. What a special moment! Horay! Nils was there! What a joy for the world! Everyone wiped tears of joy from their eyes, surrounded the little one and gave him their blessing. Today, Nils is a grown up rooster with grand feathers and his loud crowing can be heard he from afar. He is the boss of the chicken coop and is surrounded by many hens. He goes his way with certain steps according to the original writing on his egg shell. Today we remember the day he hatched and are happy that he is there and gives us the gift of his existence. Thank you for being you, Nils.
Poor hermit: Thank you for your friendly words. The holy egg greets the holy egg in you the egg. May the egg shell break open and a Buddha or Goddess step into the world. Of course, you are already a goddess. May you radiate even more love and happiness, if that is even possible. Today the weather is a little gray. The world needs a few rays of light, warmth and light. The little hermit would especially like to be an enlightened Yogi master who lives in inner happiness and wants to bring love into the world. He can only cheer up the world with his strange jokes and books, which are not well received by everyone. 63 years ago, a beak picked its way out of the shell and the chick thought he would become big and strong one day. A big, glorious rooster who thought he could make all of the hens crazy. How wrong was that notion. God wanted a poor, little Yogi and here he is. Thank God for your little joke. Yes, I am alive. Or maybe it is just a nightmare? Kiss me awake, if you want to kiss such a disgusting frog.
Goddess: Dear Hermit, I am envious of the hens following you.
Poor hermit: Dear Goddess, lovely that you are jealous. That means I am important for you. It is lovely to be important to someone.You are also important for me. I enjoy your daily good mood messages and your deep wisdom. I am happy to know someone who is so much further spiritually developed than I am. I am thankful that a goddess like you could like a silly bug like me. That shows your greatness.
I celebrated my birthday yesterday by filling up the forums with dumb sayings. I talked on the phone the whole day with my girlfriend who is suffering and had a visit from Lady C. She is a real captain and can navigate giant ocean liners. She is boss over a whole army of men who also want to be captains. Yesterday she had to strictly test the men. And then she came over to visit me. But she did not test me, rather she cooked for me. She can do everything. She is even captain in the kitchen. She is also a good mood bear and laughs a lot.
Today, two former Yoga students are coming to my birthday party. Now I am the captain. I will simply be intimidating in my enlightened presence and let them be a part of my blissful light. Of course, they are allowed to ask questions. I will gladly guide them from the darkness to the light. As reward, they have each baked me a cake. I will live on cake next week. That is fitting of a great guru. I will simply transform the cake in my stomach into light. Then I will radiate more light until the world is filled with light. Ok, enough nonsense. Now I am just the nice little Yogi again.
Shake Meditation with LaughingEdit
The Shake Meditation is a good way to quickly reduce stress and recharge with positive energy. We turn on a beautiful music, stand upright and move dynamically in the knees up and down. We can dance or go on the spot. The Shaking is a fast movement from the knees. The knees shake the body. The movement in the knees is small and fast.
1. Be angry. We shake all the stress of life out of us. We think the mantra, "anger". We transform all stress unto motion and liberate us as this.
2. Be sad. We solve our pent-up grief. We think the sentence: "I am sad because ...". We move all the sadness out of us. What makes you sad today? Think the reason several times as a mantra.
3. Circle the shoulders. We circle our shoulders. We move the shoulders as it is helpful for us. We solve the tension in the shoulders and the neck.
4. Turn the spine. We rotate into the spine left and right. We solve all the tension in the spine. The head also rotates to the sides.
5. Massage your body. We massage our body with a healing color. We are wrapped in a cloud of a healing energy. What healing color is good for you today? Think of the name as a mantra, "Yellow, Orange, Purple ...". Massage the healing color from head to toe in your body.
6. Earth you. We rub the healing color with the right and left foot on the floor. We paint a healing circle around us. When painting with our feet, we feel the earth. We think the name of the color as a mantra.
7. Go on shaking, move one hand and send a person light. We send the whole world light and think, "May all people be happy. May the world be happy."
8. Laugh while shaking.
Women are laughing about:
In every man there's something good. Even if it is just the kitchen knife.
Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because men are pigs.
What does a man consider helping with the housekeeping? Lifting the legs up so that she can vacuum better.
Getting married is like a trip with friends to a restaurant. You order what you want and when you see what the others have gotten, you would rather have that.
Him: “Honey, I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the world!” She: “I’ll miss you!”
And now, jokes for men:
When men work with their heads, one calls that thinking. When women work with their heads, we call that hairstyling.
How many brain cells does a woman have? Four, one for each stovetop.
If God had wanted women to be pilots, the sky would be pink.
Two men are talking: “ my wife died last week!” “Yeah, and?” “ The bed looks the same as always, only the kitchen is a chaotic mess!”
Live your life
A younger man goes for a walk and sees a shriveled, wrinkled old woman who is sitting happily in her rocking chair on the porch. “Excuse me,” he speaks to the woman, “but you look so happy and satisfied. What is the secret to your life?” The woman answers: “60 cigarettes, at least one bottle of schnapps, no exercise, and lots of younger men… that is the secret of my life!” “Unbelievable!” The man is amazed, “ and can I ask how old you are now?” “39….”
Another school day, yet another day full of annoying offensive comments and humiliations. Hesitantly, I get up. Should I really listen to this crap every day and do nothing about it? Yes, what else can I do? Who wants to speak out against the majority of the pubescent teens on their ego trip? No one. Not the teacher. They try to help you, but that usually makes things worse. I am not angry with them, actually I feel bad for them. I feel bad that they direct the attention to themselves. I know who I am and what I can do.
I have another tip: don’t let it get to you, because it is just not worth it. Just be yourself and be happy with yourself because that is all you can do.
Nils: Very good. The situation in the schools, on the job and over the net is difficult. Anchor yourself in the way of inner happiness (in happiness philosophy), give yourself enough time to relax, live healthily, and save yourself with spiritual exercises (thought work, oracle, reading, Yoga, walking, meditation) and enjoy something nice often. Follow your goals and do something for yourself. You can also live in the light in a world of suffering.
Thoughts from an aging man
You can start to worry about it, but when you look more closely, I don't think it's too bad! Because “I am just turning 60 now!”
If you don't know your own telephone number, no reason to panic! You only need to say- “ I am 60!” If you spill your soup on yourself, no problem, because- “ I am 60!” At that age, everyone expects that you will have developed into a grumpy old fart because “ I am 60!” If you make it to your sixtieth birthday, then everyone is amazed that you are still alive, that you can still stand and walk and still have a few bright moments. “ I am 60!” At the age of 59 people are still angry with you for whatever reason. At 60, they forgive you for almost everything.
“ I am finally 60!”
Hello, anyone out there? (from Agnes)
Is someone there? For days, there hasn't been any mail in the mail box, no emails, no telephone calls. Why hasn't anyone taken contact? I feel like I have been cut off from the world. I haven't been snowed in, the electricity hasn't gone out, and the battery on my cell phone is fully charged. It's like I don't exist anymore. The line of a song comes to mind: “ no one is calling me, no one cares for me…” My ego is irritated, you could say. On days like these, I feel like I have been sucked into a black hole and no one notices that I live. Is there no one out there who wants to talk to me, or even write me a short message so that I know that I am not totally shut off from the outside world. If someone hears me, then please let me know. I have to see if there's an obituary for me in the newspaper tomorrow, if not.
Opinion: Good that you make yourself seen! You don’t really need to worry until no one responds to you if you say hello to them out on the street. Only then have you really become invisible. ;)
I'm Maike and I am 13 years old. My hobbies are playing sports and listening to music as well as singing or dancing. When I am alone at home, I am mostly very bored. Then I can sing. I love to sing. I go to middle school. I met my best friend Victoria there, she is very nice. She and I are searching for a boyfriend. But that can still wait. Sometimes I think otherwise, but it doesn't matter really. I keep it under control. Like every child, I have a dream. I want to become a superstar.
Yogi Nils: My senses also sometimes play tricks on me. I also have a dream. I wish for a happy world without hunger or suffering. If you try to save the world, you will never be bored. That is very good. I don’t want to be a superstar. It is enough for me to be a little Yogi. I can see the superstars and popstars in the TV. I know that I must save the world.
The sad life of a 16 year old
My life is so bad, simply awful. I think and I stuff cookies into my mouth. I look at the cookies that only consist of a few crumbs after I have eaten them all up and I have to sigh. OK, my life isn't SOO bad. I at least have cookies to stuff my face with. Despite the cookies and an entire package in the cellar I am still not happy.
I look around and see a completely normal room for a young person. It's somewhat chaotic, but there's a system to it and it is painted in a bright, summery yellow color. My new laptop hums and I just got an email from a friend. In her message, she wrote that she loves me and that she greet us ladies. Now I feel lonely.
I don't have a boyfriend, am 16 years old and nothing works in my life the way I imagine. I am not a pessimistic teenager, at least I don't think I am. My girlfriends at least say that it is normal. I would not like to be normal. I'd like to be something special.
Despite the normalcy in my life, such as daily school, a few friends and a very nice family, I am still not satisfied. I don't know why I can't meet a guy. Are there no good guys my age, in my area who look good, are funny and also very nice? Somehow, it is all so messed up. My mother says I am too demanding. Yesterday, I actually planned to send roses to my friends, but most of them had already gotten some from their boyfriends. Hmpf. I hope next year will be better. At least a little. “I like you.” or something like that.
The Yogi laughs
Two women are talking. The first one says. “Somehow, I have had trouble speaking lately. I wanted to say, I want some wine. Instead, I said I want wome sine.” The other woman answered: “I have had the same problem lately. At breakfast, I wanted to say to my husband, please send me the coffee. Instead, I said to him: you damn asshole, you have ruined my whole life!”
Fifteen year old girl on the internet:
“My life only consists of school, food, TV and the computer. There is nothing worse than that...”
Nils: Yes there is. No school, no food, no TV, and no computer. Seriously, the center of existence is the inner happiness. Those who do not know the path of inner happiness suffer in life. Build up your inner happiness every day with spiritual exercises like Yoga, meditation, reading, thought work, doing good and you will then find it easier to see the positive in your life. Live as a spiritual person, and you will live in happiness.
The phenomenon is terrible. All women want the same type of men. How often do I hear that women want a man who is at least 6 feet tall, great figure and athletic. He has to be charismatic, with nice hands, good clothes, nice eyes, nice lips, a great smile. Smart, honest, faithful, funny and good-looking. Not boring. Such an image swims in the brain of every single woman’s brain.
The man should be athletic, but then when the guy has hardly any time we complain to our girlfriends. He only hangs around at the soccer field. We hate that. And how often do we find it that our dream prince doesn't have a great character. He is in love with himself, but can't love anyone else. Even if it's difficult, everyone should banish the image of the dream man from their brains.
Nils: Why? There’s me. I’m smart, honest, good-looking, trustworthy, well-trained and funny. Unfortunately, I am a little under 6 feet tall. I never knew I was almost a dream man. I lack less than an inch of height. So, for that reason I am just a lonely Yogi. Despite my great smile, dark hair and lovely eyes.
I want a real man! (by a woman)
I don't want some soft and sensitive man. I want a man with stubble on the face and hair on his chest who smells and tastes like a man. A man who only brings flowers when he feels guilty and always pays for the food when eating at a restaurant. A man who treats me like a woman, without any nonsense. I don't want a man who hovers around me, reads the wishes from my eyes, clears the table and makes breakfast on Sundays.
A real man who comes home dirty from work, and always thinks about sex right away. He doesn't have to talk a lot, but washes the car on the weekend and mows the lawn and watches sports. That makes real men sexy. He should make money and be able to drink. Men are allowed to have hair where it grows.
Nils: Thank you.
How can you keep a blonde busy? Give her a blank piece of paper and write “please refer to the other side” on both sides.
(Yogi Nils: ) Actually, this takes place with a lot of people because they don’t look beyond their own mental system. They do spiritual exercises for years without thinking about how effective it is.)
A blonde goes to the bank and says to the teller: “ I need to open a new account immediately.” The teller replies: “You already have an account with us.” The blonde: “Yes, but there isn’t any more money in it.”
Why should you write letters to blondes very slowly? Because they can't read so fast.
What do blondes have in their brains? A piece of paper where it says “brain”.
Why do blondes always eat yoghurt in the supermarket? Because the lid says “open here”.
How can you get a blonde to laugh on Monday morning? Tell her a joke Friday evening.
Yoga with Positive ThinkingEdit
Yoga with positive thinking is very helpful for many people. It allows one to quickly overcome negative tendencies and reach a happy and healthy life. Positive thinking and daily meditation are the two basic techniques of enlightenment. All the negative characteristics are ultimately based on attachment (to external pleasures, other people, to his ego) or rejection (of suffering situations, pain). If we accept the suffering in our lifes and let go of our worldly desires and longings, the tensions in our minds resolve. Our inner happiness creates a positiv feeling of life. We get into a life in the light (in a paradise view of life). The main way to overcome the negative qualities is to focus on the positive qualities of wisdom, self-discipline, peace, love and happiness.
1. Go = Jog on the spot, with your arms moving by your side. Visualize light, turn around and think, "I go the positive way."
2. Windmill = Straddle your legs apart, bow forward, turn like a windmill into the spinal column and think: "My goal is ...".
3. Frog = Bring your feet together. Bow your upper body forward. Push yourself up with your hands on the floor and move your buttocks down in a crouch and back up in the air. The head goes up to the sky and down to the earth. Practice the frog several times and think: "I have strength and endurance."
4. Arm-leg raising = Lie down on your stomach. Raise your left arm and right leg. Bring both back to the earth and lift the right arm and the left leg. Do this several times. Think, "I take things the way they are."
5. Upper body raising = Lie in the prone position, with your hands on the floor and repeatedly press the upper body up and down. The head goes to the neck and forward. While breathing in and out, think, "I let go of my false desires."
6. Pelvic rotation = In the prone position, turn your pelvis to the right and then to the left. Your head must lie on your hands. Think, "I am sad because ...".
7. Feet = Get your feet moving in the prone position. The head lies relaxed on your hands. Think, "I forgive... (my partner / parents / the cosmos / God), that he/she...". Whom do you want to forgive today? Think these words until a feeling of sadness arises in you, of letting go and forgiveness.
8. Cycling = Turn on your back, lift your head and move your arms and legs. Think, "My positive thought today is....".
9. Candle = Stretch your legs to the sky. Your hands support you at the back. Visualize the sky, move your feet and think many times the mantra "Optimism".
10. Meditation = Roll from the candle into your meditation seat (cross-legged or heel seat). Put your hands in your lap. The back is straight and the stomach is relaxed. Move one hand and wrap them and think, "I send light to ... May all people be happy. May the world be happy." Stop all your thoughts for a minute. Relax.
Sayings from Yogi NilsEdit
Laugh yoga in the nursing home
Yesterday I visited my mother at the nursing home. I did laugh yoga with her. We held our hands to the sky. Ha, ha, ha. Bend to the earth. Hoo, hoo, hoo. Turn from left to right and call to everyone: hee, hee, hee. The hands lay on the belly. Ho, ho, ho. “You don’t get old.” I answered. “ I am a Yogi. I stay young forever.”
I talked with an old lady who bakes cake for the old folks for free every Wednesday and serves it about religion. She was Catholic and practiced unconditional love in a Protestant nursing home. I explained that I am a mystic and live in the forest. She said: “ That’s why you look so strange.”
I am finding my role in the nursing home. I accept things as they are and find peace. I live out my grief and come to inner peace. Life is change. Things come and go. Life comes and goes. My mother can only converse to a limited degree because she forgets everything. Her dementia progresses. I practice the art of positive thinking. I am thankful that I still have her and that she is doing well at the nursing home. I am thankful that I know the path of inner happiness. I go through the forest and then find happiness once more.
Yesterday I was at the Yoga expo. The location where it took place was difficult to find because the expo center is in Hamburg Schnelsen. It is far away from Hamburg, in fact. I took the U Bahn to Niendorf north and then took the bus through the countryside, through fields and meadows. I almost missed the stop because I forgot to watch the bus stops. The person who gave information out about the event also gave the wrong name for the stop, Mode Centrum instead of Modering. The name sounded so familiar that I asked the bus driver and he told me I should get off at that stop.
So there I was standing in a foreign world and looked for a sign with some indication. Unfortunately, the signs I saw did not provide me with the right information. I wandered around the area and was suddenly standing in front of an entrance where a little poster for the Yoga expo was hanging. I went in and a friendly older woman gave me a golden armband for 7 euros entrance fee. I searched for Yoga people and found a little hall full of stands dealing with esoteric topics. The people working at the stands were happy to have visitors. I got a snack as a greeting along with a big cup containing mango lassi. The visit started well.
I wandered through the stands, but most of them didn't interest me much. It was more for women and wellness. At any rate, there were a lot of free drinks and free treatments. I bought a modern Yoga mat. A Yoga teacher should own such a thing. I enjoyed a vegetarian meal for 8 euros. Then I went into one of the two lecture halls. The lecture had already started, but I arrived at just the right moment. There was again some free drinks. And raw food, the newest American trend. A young woman talked about the raw diet. A lot of women listened excitedly. The room was almost full. This was where all of the visitors had been hiding. Basically, it dealt with how one took something that that tastes like crap and made decent food out of it. OK, now I am being mean. Raw food is important and healthy. I should eat more of it and not just chow down on cake and chocolate.
Now it was time to do something for the body. Fortunately, it was the course on fasciae Yoga. I sat down on one of the Yoga mats that was in the hall. There were a lot of young women and girls there. Not bad for an old Yogi. Then came the young Yoga teacher and it started. A warm up exercise. After ten minutes I was so tired that I needed a break. The Yoga teacher probably noticed the poor old man in the group. She said kindly, “Those who want to can rest in child’s pose.” I felt acknowledged and lay down on the Yoga mat. The women around me continued. In the end, I can say the Yoga hour did me good. It was not my style, but I accept all of the styles of Yoga. It was too strenuous for me, too much fitness and not enough enlightenment.
But I can do it better. I decided to offer a free Yoga course at next year’s Yoga expo. A title came to me: “Yoga for beginners and more advanced practitioners. Yogi Nils shows off his popular Yoga series. Over a half million clicks on the American WikiHow.” If no one comes! The hall will probably be full and I will finally be a star again. Yeah, I am already a bestselling author. Finally, I met the organizer, Denis, a nice young man. I asked him if he had a minute for me. He didn’t. I told him I am a bestselling author and am number 1 for Yoga Ebooks on Amazon. That impressed me and so I could talk to him. I told him about my plans for the Yoga expo next year. He was enthusiastic.
I just needed to find the right title for my presentation. What would interest young women? On the way home, I met two young women aged about 30. I started talking to them and found out that they were looking for the meaning of life. They had come to the right place. They had found their guru. I explained to them that the point of life was happiness. The highest happiness is found in enlightenment. They also wanted to be enlightened, of course. They first had to read my books. I had a topic for my lecture now: “ How to be happy? Crazy stories from the life of a little Yogi.”
What is the right point of view? If we see the eternal wars, capitalistic exploitation, poverty, destruction of the environment, outer and inner unhappiness of most people, we would see the world as a hell. The Indian master Sai Baba taught: “There is no hell, the world is hell.” This perspective is useful. Seeing the world as hell helps us to have empathy for others and motivates you as a Bodhisattva to work hard for a happy world, to change the world into paradise. I woke up today and saw my world as hell. Last night there were some cleansing processes and I felt bad. I went for a walk and did my cleansing exercises (visualization, mantras, breathing exercises, hand movements). The Kundalini energy awoke and suddenly my world had changed into a paradise. I saw green trees, beautiful flowers, heard the birds sing and felt the warm light of the sun on the top of my head. How lovely it is to have a bald spot on the top of the head. lol
As long as we put egoism at the center of our lives, then we collectively will destroy ourselves and the world. People are capable of wisdom and love. At some point, the majority of people will recognize that material riches do not truly make a person happy. They will recognize that is good to be healthy, loving and in harmony with the world around them. They will recognize that enlightenment and love are at the core of existence. They will recognize that it is good to orient oneself around the holy, and not the unholy.
If the shit is getting too deep, just breathe deeply and get through it. Then be happy you are alive.
My girlfriend called me Master Nils in the beginning. Now I am just a piece of shit who teaches nonsense to her. But she loves me anyway. And I love her too. The world is full of miracles.
Satisfaction is an important exercise along the path of enlightenment. (Nils)
If the chakras are activated, the Kundalini energy awakens and peace and happiness arise within the Yogi.
Woman: I am so full of ego. I am never satisfied. Nils:You are a woman. That is how women are, according to my experience. They want the love of a man. They want attention and energy from their partner. They want a relationship. They are never satisfied. They look out in the world instead of in themselves. You are normal. Don’t worry.
Nils: The little Yogi in the woods, calls to wisdom until it echoes and resonates everywhere. All people large and small should be nice to one another so that there can be peace in the world. Irene: YES!!! My dear Nils!!
Nils: I am old, pathetic and ugly. I have to be thankful to everyone who smiles at me.
The sun is shining today. The rainy days are over. When I went for a walk, I met an older woman with a white dog and a black one. My daily saying for her is “enjoy the nice days, the bad ones are surely on their way.” She laughed hesitantly, but she didn't really like the saying. So I thought of something else. “ For a spiritual person, there really aren't any bad days. Just days of intensive practice and days of joy. A spiritual person is constantly growing in light, until he or she forgets the self and brings light into the world.”
Just a small gesture and the hermit is happy.
Chair-Yoga with LaughingEdit
1. Stretch out = Stretch and wiggle however you need in order to feel good. Stretch out the arms up to the sky. You can fold your hands together and then flip them to face the sky. Visualize the sun over you in the sky and think the word “sun” repeatedly as a mantra. Feel how the sun flows into you with each word. Fill yourself up with the energy of the sun. VIsualizing the sun means concentrating on what is positive in life. We see the beauty of the world. We live in God, in the light, in enlightened existence
2. Healing massage = Massage the light of the sun into your body from the head to the feet. Think the word “light” repeatedly as a mantra. Now you have light on the inside and on the outside. You live in light. You are happy.
3. Move the feet = Move your feet and toes. Visualize the earth beneath you. Think the word “earth” as a mantra. To ground yourself means to accept things for the way they are. We also see the suffering, the pain and the grief in the world and in our lives. Just repressing the suffering leads to a superficial life. Integrating the suffering means having depth in life. Those who have depth live as philosophers, as wise people, as a Buddha.
4. Circle the shoulders = Lift the shoulders and then let them go to loosen up tension in the shoulders and neck. Move your shoulders the way you want. Imagine yourself as an enlightened Yogi, a Goddess, a Buddha. Think:” I am a Buddha of light. I live in the light. I take the path of light.”
5. Move the head = Move your head forward and back. Laugh and say “ hoo, hoo, hoo.” Then move your head to the left and right. Laugh at the people to your left and right. “hee, hee, hee.”
6. Twist the spine = Twist from the spine gently but as far as possible to the left and to the right. Concentrate on the spine and laugh, “hee, hee, hee”.
7. Stretch forward = Stretch your arms up high, then bend over with the upper body and touch the earth with your hands. Laugh louder as you look up, and more quiet as you look down. Ha, ha, ha.
8. Clapping = Sit upright and clap alternatingly in front of the heart chakra and the belly. Laugh “ha, ha, ho, ho.” The “ha, ha” is in resonance with the chest and the “ho, ho” is from the belly. Switch your concentration up between the chest and the belly, until both the heart chakra area and the belly are fully charged with energy. That gives us inner stability.
9. Blessing = Move your hand into a blessing and think: “May all beings be happy. May there be a happy world.” Laugh at all beings around you. Imagine a happy world full of laughter. Take the path of love. Do good. That will bring you to love.
10. Meditation = Think the mantra “om” three times. Feel if in your body. Stop all thoughts for a minute. Then relax.
Poems from Drugpa KünlegEdit
(Retold from Drugpa Künleg)
I am happy that I live as a free Yogi. I grow in my inner happiness.
I can have sex with a lot of women. Thus I help them along their path of enlightenment.
On the outside I live as a fool to my pleasures and on the inside according to my clear spiritual system.
On the outside I enjoy wine, women and song. On the inside I work for the well-being of all beings.
On the outside I seem to know no limits, on the inside I do everything at the right moment.
On the outside I am a beggar, on the inside a joyful Buddha in the eternal light.
Song about sufferingEdit
A young woman derives pleasure from love.
A young man gets pleasure from sex.
An old man finds enjoyment in his memories.
That is the teaching of the three pleasures.
Those who do not know the truth are confused.
Those who don't have ambition do not create victims.
Those who do not have courage, will not become a Yogi.
That is the teaching of the three missing things.
Even if a person knows the way of wisdom,
Without practice there can be no realization
Even if a master shows you the way,
you must walk the path alone.
The five spiritual pathsEdit
I practice the way of self-discipline. I meditate every day.
I take the path of unconditional love. I see myself as a mother and father to all beings.
I develop the divinity Yoga. I visualize myself as a Buddha in the light.
I live in attachmentless being. I flow with the joy and suffering as it appears.
I read books from all of the religions and practice everything at the right moment.
My life is my teacher and my wisdom is my leader.
The golden BuddhaEdit
The gods prefer life in heaven.
The devil loves to sin on earth.
The Yogis are happy in their spiritual practice.
The saints do good for their fellow man.
I love the women and they love me.
Happy are they who know the spiritual path.
May all beings be happy.
May there be a happy world.
Through the breathing meditation, we can absorb spiritual energy and fill our bodies with light. Our mind becomes peaceful and positive.
1. Breathing out = We concentrate on exhalation. We breathe out deeply. We breathe out all of our worries. We give all our worries to the earth (universe, life). Rename all your worries, "My grief, my worries, my problems are ...." Enumerate all of your worries. Breathe out all your worries. Give them to the earth, "I let go of my worries. I take all things the way they are."
2. Inhalation = We focus on inhalation. We visualize a sun in the sky and breathe in the light. We fill our body with light. We connect us with the positive, "Positive in my life is ..."
3. Reflection = We reflect on the deeper meaning of life? What is important in your life? What is your way of wisdom? Think the mantra: "My way of wisdom is ... Unwisdom is ..."
4. Blessing = The back is straight and the belly relaxed. We move a hand in blessing and think, "I send light to ... May all people be happy. May the world be happy."
5. So Ham = We put the hands in the lap. We think "So" by inhalation and "Ham" during exhalation. So is the sun (light) and Ham is the body. We focus on the breath and the mantra. Thus we fill us a minute by breathing with energy. Our mind becomes calm and positive. We observe one minute just our breath. We breathe in and out normally. We can observe the breath in the abdomen, chest or in the nose. We focus on our breath and stop all thinking. We relax.
There was once a Muslim saint named Mulla Nasrudin. He lived alone in a little hut at the edge of a big city. One day, Mulla Nasrudin did not feel like living alone anymore. He set off to find a woman. He wanted to get married and have a happy marriage. Where was the woman who was right for him?
She should be pretty, clever and have a sense of humor. They should have mutual interests so they could have good conversations and things should also be good in bed. Mulla Nasrudi was looking for a woman who was physically, mentally and spiritually harmonious with him. He was searching for his dream woman.
He looked around in his city. He searched in the countryside. He asked friends and put an ad in the paper. He met a lot of women. But the woman of his dreams was not to be found.
Finally, he travelled to Baghdad to the big marriage market. There he met the perfect woman. There was just one problem. His perfect woman was searching for the perfect man. And Mulla Nasrudin was not a perfect man. He had some flaws. He was not rich, he was not intelligent, and he was not very attractive. The woman recognized that quickly, since she was not only beautiful, but clever as well.
So the marriage didn't happen. Mulla Nasrudin stayed alone and made God his love. He didn't find happiness in the world, so he searched for happiness within himself. And one day he could even laugh about his search for the perfect woman.
Those who are not happy with themselves will not find the perfect partner. Something is always missing. Enlightenment means being happy in a world that is not perfect.
We sit or lie down. We relax.
1. Sun = We visualize above ourselves a beautiful sun, raising both hands to the side at head height and think several times the mantra "sun." We let the light of the sun flow down on us and massage it into the body.
2. Earth = We visualize the earth below us, rub the earth with our feet and think: "I send light to the earth. May all beings in the world be happy."
3. Healing Massage = We consider what part of our body needs healing in the moment. We let light flow into it, massage it in circles and think the word "light" as a mantra. By the light massage we resolve the tensions in the particular area of the body and enable it in the self-healing. We can visualize the light in a color we feel that it heals us. We think the color name as a mantra. We can successively rub the light of healing in several parts of the body, thinking always the mantra "Light".
4. Cosmos = We visualize the cosmos around us full of stars, make big circles with our arms and think, "Om cosmos. I take the suffering in my life. I consistently walk my way of health and healing."
5. Buddha of Healing = We visualize before or above us the Buddha of Healing (an enlightened Master). We rub our hands in front of the heart chakra and think, "Om Buddha of Healing. Om inner wisdom. Please guide and help me on my way."
6. Question of Healing = We focus on a part of our body who needs healing or on a personal problem. What is the way of our healing? What do we have to do? What triggers our problem? We think so long until we are satisfied with the result. When we hear no answer, we are either blocked inside (we don't want to see the real causes of the problem), or we have a bad contact to our inner voice (we sense ourselves poorly). The best way then is slowly to get into thinking about our problem.
7. Sick people = We move a hand, bless all people with light and think, "May all the people who have the same problem as I be healed. My problem is ... The way of healing is ..."
8. Om Shanti = We think inhaling "Om" and exhaling "Shanti". We stop all other thoughts. We feel calmness, serenity and peace in us. We stop a minute every thought and move gently our feet. We focus on our feet and move on, until our mind comes completely to rest. Then we linger in a slight meditation. All thoughts and feelings may come and go as they please. We relax.
(Retold from Khalil Gibran’s The Fool)
I awoke from my sleep and realized that my masks had been stolen from me. I walked around without my masks. Many people were afraid. Some laughed about me. A young boy called:”You are a fool!” Then I found my true self. The inner light went on and the sun kissed me. It surrounded me in light. I was happy that I was a fool. I danced happily through life.
The blade of grassEdit
The blade of grass said that he would gladly be a leaf in the wind. The leaf in the wind said he would gladly be a blade of grass on the earth. Then the sun laughed because both were so dumb.
A blindman and a man who could see discussed together who is the wisest among them. The seeing man said he can see everything and the whole world. The blindman answered that he can feel out things within and know himself.
The gravedigger said to the fool:”You are my favorite among all people. Everyone else is always crying. You come laughing and leave laughing.”
The two hermitsEdit
Two hermits lived on a mountain in the desert. They honored God and took the path of unconditional love. They were good to all beings in the world. On the outside they practiced the path of humility. They possessed just one bowl to eat from, which they shared. One day, the one Yogi said to the other: “I want the bowl just for me.” The other Yogi answered full of love:”Take it. I will gladly give you all I have.” The first Yogi got angry and shouted “ Can’t you fight with me just once! You repress your anger. You will never come to God that way.” The second Yogi hit him hard in the face and both were satisfied. From that moment on, they once again peacefully ate from the same bowl. And God was happy about their fight.
Do not take things too seriously. Concentrate on the funny side of life. Go laughing through the day. Practice Laughter Yoga. Laughter is healthy.
1. Clap your hands = We clap our hands in front of the heart chakra. We focus on the stomach and laugh "Ho, ho." We focus on the chest and laugh "Haha." Third, we change constantly between the abdomen and the chest up and down and shout, "Hoho, Haha, Hoho ...
2. Body = We lay our hands on the head and laugh in the head "Hehehe." So we can clean the head of tension. Then we lay hands on the chest and shout "Hahaha". We lay hands on the stomach and yell "Hohoho". We concentrate on the feet and trample with our feet on the ground: "Huhuhu".
3. Laughing Wave = We bow the upper body to the earth. The hands are facing down. We focus on the ground. The hands go to heaven. We wail like a siren: "Hahahaha." We make the laughing wave several times. We connect through our laughter heaven and earth.
4. Welcome laughter = Within a group, we keep eye contact and laugh, until all people are happy. At home we look in the mirror and welcome ourselves. When we look into the mirror there is always something to laugh about.
5. Hands to heaven = We extend our hands to the heaven, concentrate on our chest and laugh a minute "Hahaha."
6. Happy Mantra = We think the mantra: "May all beings be happy. Let there be a world of laughing." We see all people in the world and ourselves as a laughing Buddhas, laughing gods or laughing holinesses.
The wisdom of the foolsEdit
Retold from the book by Idries Shah
The prisoner from SamarkandEdit
There once was a Sufi who was brought to prison despite his innocence. He lived in a dark cell and meditated. One day, the enlightened Hakim came to the prison. The Sufi felt his enlightened energy through the wall. He longed for the enlightenment and began to cry. One of the people travelling with Hakim thought that some poor soul in the prison was being tortured. Hakim assured them and explained that it was just a Sufi on the way to enlightenment. His life had been blessed because he finally had enough time to meditate. And today his master had transferred enlightenment energy to him. It is just a question of time until the Sufi realizes his inner happiness.
In truth, the wise are fools and the true fool is really a wise person. Why? What is sold as wisdom at the universities is usually just foolishness. Real wisdom can be simply recognized. Does it make you happy? Does it bring you to peace and unconditional love? Does it help to build a world of peace and love? Nils the fool: Change yourself! Realize the light within you and the world. Don’t forget to enjoy life!
There once were two Sufis who had been doing their spiritual exercises for decades yet hadn’t had any success. One day they came to a watering hole while they were wandering through the desert. Then an old Sufi came to them. He wore a white turban and had green robes on. He was friendly, and invited them to share a meal with him. After the meal, they meditated a little. The Sufi barely had to assume the meditative position and the happiness began to flow within him and he radiated light and love. Both of the other Sufis were amazed and asked him how long he had practiced in order to reach that point. He told them that he had these results just a short time after he began his spiritual practice.
His friends wanted to know what the secret of his quick success was. The Sufi explained that he thought about Khidr mornings and evenings. Khidr is the transcendental master of all Sufis. Khidr appeared to him in dreams to lead him along his spiritual path. Everything developed so that he grew quickly spiritually. His inner peace, inner happiness and love for all beings grew and grew. The happiness energy within him got increasingly stronger. He only needed to think of Allah and he could feel the beauty of Allah in nature. Allah is everywhere. In him, around him, in people, in animals, plants and stones.
Saints and SinnersEdit
There once was a Sufi who met a sinner. The sinner was stuck in worldly addiction. He strived for material riches, after money, sex and good food. He was also aware that he was going the wrong way in life. He had read the Quran in his youth and knew the way of inner happiness. But he wasn’t able to follow the way of inner wisdom. He couldn’t withstand the temptation of worldly happiness. He secretly admired the Sufi.
The Sufi lived in material poverty, wore simple clothes and prayed to Allah five times a day. He felt he was a great saint. Every time he saw the sinner, he felt even better.
After death, the sinner came to paradise and the Sufi went to hel. The sinner wondered what had happened and asked Allah how that could be. Allah answered that he had indeed lived in material riches, but his mind and spirit were concentrated on the path of the holy. Allah had forgiven his little sins because the mercy of Allah is infinite.
The Sufi complained to the devil about his descent to hell. The devil explained that Allah looks to the inside of a man’s heart and soul and not the outside. He is indeed merciful, but one sin cannot be forgiven: the sin of pride. Those who think they are better and more important than other people is a candidate for hell. Those who don’t have any love or empathy have a lot to learn along the spiritual path. The Sufi learnt his lessons and after a time was brought to the light of Allah.
The cook in the soup kitchenEdit
In a city in the desert there was a lovely mosque. Many pilgrims came in order to pray to Allah. But no one reached enlightenment or a life in the light.
Next to the mosque, there was a soup kitchen. There, many pilgrims as well as the poor of the city were served delicious food. There, a miracle occurred. Many of the visitors to the soup kitchen became famous saints. What was the reason for this miracle? The food did not taste any different from that which was served in other soup kitchens. There was, however, a cook there who had a special radiance about him. He seldom visited the mosque, but he fully dedicated himself to his service to the poor and the works of mercy. One day he reached unconditional love. The light of Allah appeared in him and he radiated this light to pall of the other people he came into contact with.
If these people then prayed to Allah every day and gave all they could to the poor and suffering people in the world and did good deeds, then this light intensified with time. They reached peace, love and happiness. Praise Allah who can bring forth such miracles.
The happy sheikhEdit
There was once a sheikh who was very rich. He had infinite money, a great palace, fast cars and beautiful women. But he was never satisfied. He could buy whatever he wanted. But his wishes grew faster. His riches did nothing for him. He was unhappy on the inside. The sheikh looked for a person who could help him out of his sickness of disatisfaction. He went to a lot of western psychotherapists. Unfortunately, deep in their souls they were suffering from the sickness of dissatisfaction, of always wanting more. They did not know the way to healing. Then the sheikh heard of a poor old Sufi who had a magic bowl. With this magic bowl he could heal all mental illnesses.
The sheikh ordered the Sufi to his palace. The old Sufi threw himself on the ground in front of the sheikh. “Oh, sheikh, what can I do for you?” The sheikh answered:” free me from my dissatisfaction!” The Sufi replied: “Then you must do everything I direct you to, in my bowl.” The sheikh agreed.
First the sheikh had to put all of his money into the bowl of the Sufi. It disappeared miraculously. Then he put his palace, his cars and his women into the bowl. They all disappeared. The sheikh now owned nothing more. Then the Sufi told him to get in the bowl himself. The sheikh was brave and jumped in himself.
His ego dissipated. He became one with the cosmos. He reached the light of Allah. He recognized that he did not need anything material in order to be happy on the inside. On the contrary his worldly wishes hindered his inner happiness. The inner happiness comes from the spirit. And if the mind has the right attitude, then one can keep the inner happiness in every external situation. The old Sufi turned his magic bowl upside down. Out came the sheikh, his women, his money, his cars and his palace. The sheikh was now rich on the inside and the outside. He worked on the characteristic of satisfaction and stayed happy all the time. He was happy with everything that Allah brought into his life. Allah is the wisest of the wise. He knows what everyone needs for their individual spiritual path. Praise be Allah. Praise be everything created by Allah. Praise be the lasting life in light and fulfillment of Allah.
The Laughing BuddhaEdit
It is good to be happy, and it's not as hard as you think it is. There is a way to happiness for everybody. Try it. Taste it. Realize it. Hotei (Budai) was a zen master. He lived during the Tang dynasty in China. People also called him the laughing Buddha or the happy Chinaman. Hotei was a follower of the art of doing little. He enjoyed the happiness of enlightenment. He lived in happiness consciousness (Sat-Chid-Ananda). He liked to laugh, eat sweets and play with children. Hotei always had a sack with him, full of nice things which he liked to give children. He was popular with all of the children. And the adults loved to spend time around him because his energy made them feel good.
One day Hotei was asked what enlightenment is. He stretched out his arms into the air, laughed happily and disappeared among the people. He lived in happiness and as a nothing. He followed his spontaneous needs. He rejected being a Zen master or having formal teachings. He was just a happy, fat Buddha. That was enough.
Hotei came through a village. He was known among the people as the "laughing Buddha" because he always and everywhere laughed. Sometimes, however, he just sat under a tree. So also in this village. And he continued without laughing, eyes closed, under the tree. He did not even have a small smile on his face and was completely calm and collected. Someone asked him, "Hotei, why you are not laughing?" He opened his eyes and said: "I am preparing for it." First awaken your enlightenment energy. Then the big laughter is within you.
1. Meditate. Stop your thinking for one minute. Come to rest. Relax. It is easy to be happy. Avoid stress. Happiness arises from your inside, if you live in inner peace.
2. Do kundalini-yoga. Activate your kundalini-energie. Find your personal way of activating your energy of inner happiness.
3. Think positive. Watch your thoughts. Overcome your negativity. What is your negative thought today? What helps you? What solves your problem? What makes you happy? "My positive word is .. (optimism. I am a winner in my life.)"
3. Have self discipline. Do every day your spiritual exercises. Meditate every day at least for five minutes. Find every day your positive sentence, that keeps your mind positive. Do every day your kundalini-exercises. Read every day a little bit in the book of an enlightened master of your religion (Yoga, Buddhism, Christianity). Don't give up. Never.
4. Get enlightenment. Find your spiritual role model. Copy a picture of a happy buddha on your desktop. Get the darshan of an enlightened master. Visit personally an enlightened master. See his videos in the internet. Feel connected with him or her every day. So he or she will lead you to enlightenment. Follow your inner voice of wisdom. Then you will find your personal way to inner happiness.
5. Love all people. Do every day a good deed. Then you grow into the all embracing love. You get a unity consciousness. That is the basis of enlightenment. You will feel one with the cosmos, the life, all beings and yourself. You will realize your higher self. Then bliss arises.
6. Laugh as much as you can. Practice laughter yoga every day. See the jokes in your life. There is every day a joke in your life, if you see things like a buddha. Get a happy buddha view of life. Live like a happy buddha.
Laughter meditation consists of two steps. First laugh and second come to inner peace. It is helpful to use laughing as a mantra. Laugh in different parts of your body and thus awake the chakras and the kundalini energy. Then the happiness awakes in your inside und you become positive. You see the jokes in the world. Laughter arises in you naturally. You will become a laughing buddha. You will set alight your fellowmen with happiness and good humor.
1. Head = We think the mantra “Hee, Hee, Hee” mentally. We concentrate on the brain at the same time and so dissolve the tension in the head.
2. Chest = We mentally repeat the mantra “ Ha, ha, ha” in the chest. We lay the hands onto the heart chakra.
3. Belly = We think “Ho, ho, ho” in the belly and lay the hands on the belly.
4. Earth = We think “Hoo, Hoo, Hoo” into the earth. We lay our hands on the legs and move the feet at the same time.
5. Cosmos = We make big circles with our arms in the air and think the mantra “Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha”. We visualize the cosmos around us. We mentally repeat the mantra until we are one with the cosmos.
6. Send light = We move a hand in a blessing and send light to all beings. We think: “I send light to… (all beings). May all beings be happy. May there be a happy world.”
7. Thought stop = We hum the mantra “Om” in the body. We stop all of the thoughts. We come to a state of calm.
8. Positive saying = We start the day with positive resolution and start the day in a good mood. Proceed with optimism.