Bartending/Cocktails/Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, a major character in Douglas Adams' novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is described as "like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped 'round a large gold brick." It has also been described in the novel as "the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging; expensive and bad for the head." Its original, fictional recipe, is as follows:

Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
Flavour	"Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."
Units	10000
Standard drinks	7916

Artistic depiction of the effect of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

Recipe

1. Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
2. Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V (Oh, that Santragian seawater! Oh, those Santragian fish!)
3. Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzine is lost).
4. Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
5. Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet, and mystic.
6. Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
7. Sprinkle Zamphuor.
8. Add an olive.
9. Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .

Mars recipes

Recipe number two

Put a bottle of Broker's Gin, 94 proof, the freezer, along with a heavy old fashioned glass. Put a bottle of Dolin dry vermouth (it must be Dolin) in the refrigerator. Let both chill overnight. Take out the glass, taking care not to handle it too much. Pour a dribble of Dolin into the glass, and grasping the glass by the edges, swirl it WITHOUT USING A SPOON OR STICK until the vermouth becomes slushy and partially frozen at the bottom of the glass. Add two ounces of gin. Squeeze a twist of lemon peel over the drink but DO NOT DROP IT IN. The drink should be around 5 degrees F (and 46% alcohol) and the glass should be frosty and oozing fog. If you are weak-hearted, you can drop in an ice cube, which will not actually melt but will reassure you a little. Serve.

Recipe number four

Another recipe:

• 1 1/2 shots 151 Proof Rum
• 1/4 shot Tequila
• 1/4 shot Gin
• 2/3 shot Triple Sec
• 1 shot Blue Curaçao
• 1 dash Bitters
• 1 dash Grenadine

Recipe number five

• 4 parts Bacardi Citron
• 1 part Bacardi 151
• 1 part Goldschlager
• 1 part Everclear

Recipe number six

Another recipe:

• 1 part Everclear (or any other strong grain alcohol such as Bourbon, Moonshine, or Vodka)
• 1 part Tonic Water
• 1 part Bitter Lemon
• 1 part Bombay Sapphire Gin (or other gin)
• 1 part Yukon Jack Perma-Frost Schnapps (or other mint schnapps, or white crème de menthe)
• Enough blue food coloring to make the mixture a very light sky blue

Also needed:

• Sugar cubes
• Cinnamon extract
• Yellow food coloring (optional)
• Angostura Bitters
• Olives

Mix the first five ingredients and chill (usually for 24 hours). Then, take a sugar cube and let it absorb 1 milliliter of cinnamon extract and 1 drop of yellow food coloring (optional). Place three ice cubes in a glass and pour the chilled liquid mixture over these. Drop in the sugar cube and stir to dissolve, or just let it sit (if food coloring is used, often the sugar cube is just left to sit, to create a layering effect with the color). Sprinkle the Angostura Bitters in the drink, and add an olive.

Drink, but very carefully.

Alternatively, one can let the sugar cube absorb 1 milliliter of Angostura Bitters, and sprinkle ground cinnamon on the top of the drink, thus omitting the cinnamon extract.

It is often more convenient to make a large amount of the mixture ahead of time and chill for a day, rather than to constantly mix more of it. It's also best to save it for a special occasion, such as Towel Day, due to the work put into making the drink.

Recipe number 7

• 2 measure of white orujo
• 1 measure of gin
• 3 measures of tonic water
• Angostura drops
• Lemon drops
• Add an olive

Recipe number 8

• 1 dash absolut citron
• 1 dash goldschlager
• 2 dashes everclear
• 1 dash lemonchello

Find an old Champagne glass like the kind Bogey uses in Casablanca

Fill the rest of glass with extra dry or brut champagne: Andre if, you're... well, a "hitchiker", Vueve Clique if you're not.

Recipe from "Spiders" Nightclub in Hull,UK

Invented in 1981 By George Mercer and Mark Borril, formerly known as a firebird special, and is a combination of a harvey wallbanger and a tarantula! named so because anybody who drank one passed out ,

• 25ml Vodka
• 25ml Pernod
• 25ml Galliano
• 25ml Blackcurrant
• 25ml Orange juice
• Enough cider to top up

Pour over some ice, stir and enjoy!

Recipe from "The Firm" Nightclub from the Old Melbourne Hotel in Perth, Western Australia, c1990

Equal parts rum, vodka, tequila, plus cream and grenadine

From The Firm Facebook group.

Recipe reverse-engineered from a stain on RJ Lanning's towel

• 1 oz vodka (that Ol' Janx Spirit)
• 1 oz Clamato (oh, those Santraginus fish)
• 1 oz ice cold gin (Arcturan Mega-gin)
• 4 oz Zipang Sparkling Sake (Fallian marsh gas)
• 1 oz Creme de Menthe (Qalactin Hypermint extract)
• 1 Jalapeno (tooth of an Algolian Suntiger)
• Sprinkle with lemon zest (Zamphuor)
• add an olive

WARNING: Drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters may cause serious damage to the rods and cones in the human eye, thus explaining why consumers of this beverage have often reported it to be green in color when, in fact, it is not.

Official Fried Farmers Recipe

Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."

In a carafe

• 20 oz. Jack Daniels
• 20 oz. Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
• 20 oz. Southern Comfort
• 20 oz. Jose Cuervo Gold
• 20 oz. Triple Sec
• 20 oz. Lime Cordial
• 40 oz. Fresh Orange Juice
• 40 oz. Sprite

Add 2 bags of ice and stir well. Remember... Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."

Recipe For The Ones With Seriously Damaged Rods And Cones

• 1 oz. Jack Daniels
• 1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
• 1/2 oz. Blue Curaçao
• 1-2 Drops Of Lemon Extract A Bit More If You Use Juice
• Orange Juice

Fill the glass 3/4 full of ice, add the booze, top it off with OJ, mix well.

Recipe #13 from a Pan-Asian restaurant-at-the-end-of-a-collegiate-Black-Hole-Universe

• Martini glass, chilled
• 3.0 Sugar cubes, dowsed w/ Chartreuse and Creme-de-Menthe

Set aside for later... DO NOT MUDDLE!!!

Fill a cocktail shaker w/ ice, then...

• 2.0 Citron vodka
• Dash Limoncello
• Dash Sweet & Sour mix (or use freshly muddled sugar and lemon)

SHAKE. Strain—loosely, w/ Boston shaker

ADD the seasoned Sugar Cubes (see above)

TOP w/ Sprite + Tonic

• 2.0 Basil Seed Drink (available at most Asian markets)
• Dash Blue Curaçao (sinks)
• Dash Absinthe (floats)
• Dash Nutmeg -or- Five-spice

GARNISH w/ olive [Do not omit!]

Recipe number forty-two

Into a 12 oz glass

• drop two - three large ice cubes
• sprinkle a pinch or two of cayenne pepper
• 1/4 tsp powdered vanilla
• 1/8 tsp lemon extract

Add

• 1/2 shot 151 Proof Cruzan Rum (Bacardi will not turn out well)
• 1/2 shot 80 Proof Gold Rum
• 3/4 shot Tequila
• 1 shot Sapphire Gin
• 1 shot green Creme de Menthe

TOP w/ Sprite (or fizzy lemonade)

Stir exactly twice from top to bottom!

Add an olive

For a nice touch add 8 1/2" frozen gin cubes (4:1 water:gin)

The Mallet Assembly's Recipe

Fill a 28-oz. hurricane glass with crushed ice. Add the following in order:

• 1 oz. Everclear^® (The ice should sizzle.)
• 1 oz. Bacardi^® 151
• 1 oz. apricot-flavored brandy
• 1 oz. triple sec
• 1 oz. lemon juice
• 1 oz. orange juice
• 1 oz. pineapple juice
• 1 oz. Tom Collins mix

Stir, then top off the glass with ice. Drink. Slowly.
This recipe is a modified version of the Pat O'Brien's^® "Skylab [Fallout]". Some have suggested replacing the apricot-flavored brandy with peach-flavored brandy and cutting back on the citrus while increasing the amount of Collins mix; purists argue that the resulting drink is a bit too sweet. This recipe is not strictly analogous to Douglas Adams' recipe, but the effect is the same, and the equimolar quantities of ingredients make it easily scalable (until you've had one, at least). As an added bonus, the dregs may be used to restore the shine to old pennies.

The BarBot Recipe

Prepare one part of each:

• Vodka
• Rum
• Whiskey (preferably cheap and harsh)
• Gin
• Orange juice
• Lime juice, diluted to taste
• Cola
• Ginger beer

Have a robot dispense each measure into an iced tumbler from a considerable distance. Thank your robot, and prepare for the rest of your night to become a blur.

The Housewarming Recipe

This is a slightly sweet drink, but hey, I like sweet. And this recipe gives an unparalleled visual experience.

Use a 16oz clear glass. Add the following:

• 1 oz. Grape Juice
• 2 oz. Pineapple Juice
• 1 oz. Citron Vodka
• 1 oz. Hot Cinnamon Schnapps

Then add a glowing ice cube. You can find glowing LED ice cubes online. The best are the ones that change color. Then:

• 2 oz Sprite^®
• 4 oz Club Soda

That is, fill up the rest of the glass with Sprite^® and Club Soda in a 1:2 ratio, but leave an inch or so of room at the top of the glass.

It's best if the Sprite^® and Club Soda are room temperature, not cold.

Then add a piece of dry ice.

For a minute or so you'll have the full Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster experience: a glowing, bubbling drink overflowing with mist (Fallian marsh gas). Once the dry ice has bubbled away, enjoy. Best served at night, or in a dark environment.

The Mister Break Recipe

Stir the following, straight without water or ice:

• 1/2 oz Single Barrel Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey;
• 1/2 oz Fernet Branca;
• 1/2 oz Wormwood Bitters
• 1/8 teaspoon Everclear Vodka
• 1/8 teaspoon Angostura Bitters
• 1/8 teaspoon Fee Brother's Lemon Bitters
• A slice of jalapeno

The Stage Show Recipe

• Sugar Cube soaked in Angostura Bitters in the bottom of a tall cylindrical container (In the theatre they used 100ml measuring tubes)
• 5ml Blue Curacao
• 10ml Vodka
• Top up with "Champagne"

The 42nd birthday party recipe

Mix the following:

• 1/2 oz. rum (Bacardi)
• 1/2 oz. whiskey (Maker's Mark)
• 1/4 oz. Orange Curacao
• 1/4 oz. Triple Sec
• 1/2 oz. Sprite or other clear carbonated beverage

Drop in, without stirring:

• 1 oz. Pineapple coconut juice
• 1/8 oz. Grenadine
• dash of bitters
• dash of cayenne
• one olive

Finally, drop in a chunk of dry ice.

Availability

A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at:

• The Pub at the End of the Universe, Portland, OR - no longer open

. The Land of Dreams , Halifax ,Nova Scotia ( but only if you get the right bartender ... Kris )

• The Clockwork Rose in Bristol, United Kingdom
• Cocos Island Grill and Cocktail Bar, Hermanus, Western Cape, South Africa
• Beef 'o' Brady's in Frankfort, KY, USA
• The Hunter Club in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, UK
• 42 Lounge in Milwaukee, Wisconsin - no longer open
• Cocktail Bar Tijuana in Belgrade, Serbia
• Zaphod Beeblebrox bar in Ottawa, ON (Canada), (sadly, no longer open)
• 42 bar in Athens, Greece
• Spiders gothic nightclub in Hull, UK (recipe mentioned above)
• Black Spot Cafe Bar in Hyannis, Ma, USA
• Coppers Corner in Laramie, WY
• A Night Kitchen in Seattle, WA, USA - no longer in business
• AFK Tavern in Everett, WA, USA (no longer open)
• Silly's With a Twist, ME, USA
• Crabby's Bar, Pendleton, OR, USA
• JD's Sports Bar in Grants Pass, OR, USA
• Bar at the end of the universe (Бар на края на Вселената), Sofia, Bulgaria (1 in the centre, 1 close to the MetOffice)
• BarBot 2012, from the Santa BarBot table, San Francisco CA (USA)
• Grumpy Dave's Pub in Bowling Green, OH USA
• Baja Bean, The Corner, Charlottesville, VA USA - no longer in business
• Dernier bar avant la fin du monde, 19 avenue Victoria, Paris (Fr)
• Robin Hood Bar in Beyoğlu, İstanbul, Turkey
• Eddie's Bar & Grill in Dunedin, FL (Tyler's version)
• Storm Crow Tavern, Vancouver, BC, Canada
• Two Parrots Bar and Grill, Vancouver, BC, Canada

Other bars may be able to mix any of the recipes above (or one of their own). Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters were also served at a couple of the stage show adaptations of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the late 1970s, according to Neil Gaiman in his book Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Companion. In Russia a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at the Coffee&Books art-cafe in St.Petersburg.

• Brdr. Price Rosenborggade, Copenhagen, Denmark- A very good one.
• Bomb Bar, Manhattan, KS, USA
• Cheeky Monkey Bars across Pretoria, South Africa
• Silverbirch Cafe at Lifestyle Johannesburg, South Africa
• Cosmic Comic Cafe, Turku, Finland

(Only available during Towel Day festivities)

Notes

1. ^ Galactic Guide recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
2. ^ Drinksmixer.com recipe for a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
3. ^ On Neopets.com, a Pan Galactic Gargle Slushie, a kiddie version of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, is sold.